Category Archives: Amateur Hour

[am•uh•choor ou-er]
“Something that is done sloppily, half-assed, or in an amateaur manner.”

A Gringo’s Guide to the Booby Dance

Step 1: Find a hot chick

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Step 2: Confuse her

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Step 3: If she is not confused, threaten her with a stick.

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Step 4: Hypnotize her with your boobies. Wax on. Wax off.

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Step 5: Dominate the competition with your superior dancing skillz.

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Step 6: No further steps needed. She will indeed be yours.
(If not, forget her. There was probably something wrong with her anyway.)

Paramount

P1010728-001Warning: Every time a movie made by Paramount Pictures is played ever again, Dan and I are going to be those overly punchable persons who say, ‘Yeah, the Paramount Pictures Mountain looks kind of like that, but WAY better in person.’ Consider yourself warned.

So, who want’s to watch a movie?!

Mulligan!

golf-mulliganLet’s try this again! Back on January 23rd, Dan and I landed in Lima, Peru, with the goal of backpacking our way all the way north to Boston. Pretty awesome plan, right? Yeah, we thought so too. Now, over 2 months later, after tons of traveling, sightseeing, friend-making and ridiculous experiences, we find ourselves… back in Lima, Peru. So, with a bus booked for tonight heading north (yes, we are actually going north this time), we are finally back on track. Let the games begin (again), heyo!

It’s good to be Irish

A few years ago, Dan found out that we do in fact have some Irish blood in us. Ever since, it’s been obligatory to celebrate St. Paddy’s like a true ginger, and celebrate even harder to make up for all the past St. Paddy’s days that we celebrated thinking we weren’t Irish! So, we are finally making up for lost time. No better way than to bartend at the Wild Rover, an Irish hostel, here in Cusco. Continue reading

Classifications of Fun

Fun PictureIn our travels, we have developed (read: stolen and adapted) a rating system for classifying the different activities that we embark on. While some people refer to what Dan and I are doing as ‘vacation,’ ‘holiday,’ or ‘joy-riding,’ it really is not all that simple. Of course, we both have our own personal goals and intentions for this unique time in our lives, but even more simple than that, is that everything we do cannot be labeled under the uniform umbrella of ‘Fun.’ So, in order to make it simpler and more entertaining for ourselves, and for the people who embark on these activities with us, we have made a classification system. Continue reading

And So It… Continues!

IMG_2848Alright y’all. You thought you could get a free pass and not be plagued by the ridiculousness that has been our travel blog. NOPE! We are back, beardless once again, and poorer than ever. Let the second leg commence!

After 3 months in Argentina, Uruguay and Bolivia, and a little over a month hiatus in the States, we are back in South America. It has been not even a week, and things are cruising. And by things, I mean us, and by cruising, I mean bombing around enormous sand dunes (read: legit mountains of sand) in dune buggies and falling on our faces while attempting to sandboard. Pictures and videos to follow, though some have already been added by Baloo.

With a little experience under our belts, and a little money remaining, we are embarking on our adventure north. We bought a one way ticket to Lima, and are backpacking our way up to the states. Just as before, follow us at your leisure, with the only mandatory requirement being making hilarious and inappropriate comments along the way. Hoooooray!

The Death Road

DSCF8082Rocky, Narrow, Dirt Road + 600 meter cliffs (2000 ft!) + Mountain Bikes + Epic History of Deaths + Food Poisoning + Thanksgiving Day = BEST. DAY. EVER.

The day before Thanksgiving, we were stuck in La Paz all day for the Census Day. Dan decided to tempt fate – after all, fortune favors the bold – and eat lettuce with our lunch (with tons of surface area, lettuce was very likely to have nastiness on it from being washed in the unclean Bolivian water). I refrained, even though my colon was in desperate need of some ruffage.  We had decided that, since there we no other Americans around, Bolivia didn’t have Turkeys (and even if they did, it was probably smart to stay far away from such meats), and we only had one more day in La Paz, that the best way to celebrate Squanto’s kindness to the Pilgrims was to do the Death Road. Continue reading