A Gringo’s Guide to the Booby Dance

Step 1: Find a hot chick

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Step 2: Confuse her

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Step 3: If she is not confused, threaten her with a stick.

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Step 4: Hypnotize her with your boobies. Wax on. Wax off.

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Step 5: Dominate the competition with your superior dancing skillz.

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Step 6: No further steps needed. She will indeed be yours.
(If not, forget her. There was probably something wrong with her anyway.)

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Rock Climbing – Hatun Machay

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We were like kids in a candy shop. A stone candy shop. The rock forest – which is by far the best way to describe this place – was literally pillar after perfect pillar of volcanic rock shooting skyward, beckoning weathered crag junkies and soft-fingered newbies alike to tackle as many bolted vias as they dare. And the forest just… didn’t… end. Neither did the fun. Continue reading

Vallunaraju – 5686 meters

IMG_4324We don’t need no guide!

18,655 feet. Crampons, ice axes, harnesses and rope. Glaciers. Remembering climbing knots. Crevasses. 2am start. Headlamps. Helmets. Headaches. Ice bridges. Panic attacks. Sunrise in the mountains. Finally eating that Milky Way that you had been saving for 2 months. Perfect weather, awesome pictures, and feeling like a total bad ass. The realization of, ‘Oh no, now we have to go all the way back down.’ Dehydration. Getting lost. Vomiting. Altitude is no joke. Just. Keep. Walking. Relief, smiles, and over exaggerated tales of epic accomplishment. Continue reading

Huayhuash Circuit

It’s really difficult to do one post on an 8 day, world class trek through one of Andes’ most spectacular segments. So, I will just make a list of ‘highlights’ – I use that term very loosely – from our time in the Cordillera Huayhuash. Our crew consisted of Dan and I, Belinda, Ally (our new badass Coloradan friend) and Gil and Nir, two hilarious Israeli gents. We also had Jesus #1 (Guide/cook) and Jesus #2 (Donkey driver). With donkeys carrying everything but our daypacks, food prepared for us at the campsites when we arrived in the evenings, and surprisingly good quality equipment, we were able to hike quickly during the day due to less weight and relax in the evenings. Going with a guided group was definitely worth the extra 6 dollars a day. Brace yourself for a ton of pictures.

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Santa Cruz

P1010830Beautiful sunny days? Check. Green and blue glacial lakes? Check check. Snowcapped Mountains? Many checks. Paramount Picture Mountain? Awesome check. 4 days of incredible hiking, stunning vistas, camping above 14,000 feet, good friends and incredible memories in one of South America’s most famous sections of the Andes? Yup. Santa Cruz. Check.  Continue reading

Paramount

P1010728-001Warning: Every time a movie made by Paramount Pictures is played ever again, Dan and I are going to be those overly punchable persons who say, ‘Yeah, the Paramount Pictures Mountain looks kind of like that, but WAY better in person.’ Consider yourself warned.

So, who want’s to watch a movie?!